11.13.2008

Mighty to Save

A couple of weeks ago I attended a valley-wide outreach at this same church. And we sang this song. My friend beside me told me as the song began that this was the song they sang at camp. The summer camp I never got to go to. The singing grew louder as the sanctuary passionately drummed out the words so familiar and precious to them. I made it through the first verse, though I could hardly get a word out. Thoughts rapidly rushed my mind. Thoughts of sadness and hurt and loss. The chorus came and I began to tear up. By the third verse I had completely broken down in my best friends' arms. The song seemed to last forever. And as the next song began to play, a song of praise and joy, I was still crying.
Today I was checking out an artist recommended by a close friend. I began to play the songs on the website as I worked on some homework. And then this song came on. I continued with my work, slightly distracted by the words that had pierced my heart.

This year is nearly over. 8 months ago my life changed, only 2 weeks after Winter Camp. I can recall the dates, the smells, the textures, the feelings I felt during those two weeks. But one thing I forgot was that no matter how painful life is, He's going to make it all beautiful in the end. I may not be able to see it now. But all of this is just a little bit of weaving in an incredible tapestry that will glorify Him in the end. And that's all that matters.
There isn't a day I don't think about the past. And many times I'll shed a tear or feel that familiar pain in my heart. I don't understand what He's doing. Not yet, not fully. But I can trust Him to be faithful in His promises-- His promises to wipe away the tears, to renew Hi mercies each morning, to be with me.

I would like to forget it all. He's made it clear that I'm not supposed to forget yet. There's a reason for it. There's a reason for all of it, and I'm thankful for that, no matter what the cost. It's worth it all.

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