Sweet Words

Last Valentine's Day, Alex and Brett Harris opened up the Modesty Survey. Here are some of my favorite replies to the question, "If you could say one thing to your sisters in Christ about modesty, what would it be?" and, "What is the primary difference between something that is attractive and something that is immodest?"

Age 18
Sisters in Christ, we men in society have miserably failed at appreciating true womanhood. On behalf of every man out there who has painted a distorted picture in your life of what a real woman is, especially along the lines of modesty, I apologize deeply. There are many Godly men out there, as I'm sure this survey will prove, that are dying to give you their utmost respect when you choose to follow God's leading in this area of modesty in your life. We back you up all the way and want to do anything we can to help you. And we ask that you do all you can to help us as we struggle through this world of sin together.

Age 20
If I could only persuade you of one thing, it would be that God's ways are best. Our heavenly Father has our welfare in mind, and His commandments are not burdensome. Obedience is rarely easy (we men have our own battles to fight), but it is always blessed. I am convinced that a young woman who submits her heart to God in this area will experience blessing as a result. After reading this survey, some may decide to pursue modesty quite grudgingly, in order to avoid causing their brothers to stumble, but viewing it as a great personal sacrifice nonetheless. I can only hope that this is not how it is perceived by most of you. I hope you understand the value and significance of true modesty. And I hope you will not trade that blessing for a mess of pottage.

Age 16
Please don’t take modesty lightly. As your brother in Christ I value the relationship that I will have with my wife someday. When I am tempted because of you I lose a part of myself that I am trying to save for her. When I’m tempted because of you I become that much more accepting of the perversions in the world. When you remain pure and modest, my life is made so much easier. Instead of watching to ensure that I don’t sin I can focus on you as a person and fellow follower of Christ. I appreciate modesty more than you’ll ever know. Please, show respect of yourself and of me and be modest.

Age 17
Dearest sister: God made you a thing of beauty. A thing to be admired and respected. When you dress or act in a way that draws attention to your body, you make it easy for the guys around you to reduce you to the level of a disgusting toy - using you to mentally satisfy their fantasies. They stop thinking about your Godly qualities and immerse themselves in sinful thought. By dressing and acting modestly, you draw attention to your face instead of your body. Your body may be alluring, but your face - those deep, mysterious eyes and smiling mouth - is infinitely more beautiful than any amount of revealing dress. Would you rather be the tool by which guys satisfy themselves or the beautiful thing God created you to be, pure for your husband? My flesh prefers the former, but my heart pleads for the latter.

Age 16
As a Christian guy, modesty is SO attractive. I don't mean attractive in a lustful way, but that to see a girl living out God's standards in her life really is beautiful. And you have no idea just how much you would be helping your Christian brothers by being modest. We're not trying to blame you for our impurity, that's between us and God, but you can do so much to encourage and help us in our battle by being modest.

Age 26
Modesty is extremely attractive in a pure and holy way. Beauty is fleeting. Inner purity is gorgeous! Guard your intimacy with God. If you can't do something in the Holy of holies, don't do it at all. Eternity is a long time. Spend it with Jesus. Start now, if you haven't already. If you're intimate with God it shows. Intimacy with God is the most attractive thing in a woman. Purity and holiness is beautiful. Impurity taints a womans outer beauty. Purposefully or willingly sinning is not forgivable. Don't play with that. Eternity is a long time. Get plugged in to a local healthy growing church, if you're not yet. Fall deeply and madly in love with your Maker. Love God. Love people. Devour the Word of God. Hunger and thirst for righteousness, and you will be filled. (Matthew 5) Those who do righteousness are righteous.(1 John 3:7) Those who do righteousness are born of God. (1 John 2:29) Prayer is for intimacy with God. Intimacy with God is the very essence and breath of life.

Age 24
An attractive lady is one who has a pure heart toward God. She seeks God with all her heart and does not worry about attracting guys. She has an attitude of contentment with a gentle and quiet spirit. That attitude leads to dressing modestly. One's dress is just an outward manifestation of one's heart. An immodest lady is loud, proud, and dresses in a way that communicates such an attitude. She may be hurting or unsure of herself, but by dressing immodestly, she communicates that she is unsure of who she in in Christ.

Age 18
Girls, put modesty above "attractiveness" and you will find that guys will truly be attracted to YOU instead of your short skirt. Also, the type of guys that will be attracted to you will be different; they will tend to be the type of guys who notice that you are making an effort to care for them. They will tend to be the guys that put striving for godliness above personal lusts. One last encouragement, find like-minded friends! That has been the greatest encouragement as I have made changes, striving for godliness. Many a time is has been said that you can judge a person by their friends. That is completely true. Pick your friends wisely!

Age 19
Inward beauty, and your love for God is attractive. God designed guys to be attracted to outward beauty. The question is, how can we be attracted in a non-lustful way? I think this happens when your love for God is so clearly evident that His radiance shines through you. This is very attractive, and by all means not immodest. Wearing nice or stylish clothing is fine too, but you must be careful to not let your heart slip from honoring God to trying to honor yourself.

When I read the words these young men have written about beauty and purity and modesty, and the kind of woman that represents them, all I can think is, "That is who I want to be!" I want Him to radiate through me. When people meet me, I want them to see God. I want them to see His character and truth and a picture of what Biblical womanhood is.

I think of two young women I know. They are so outwardly beautiful! Their dress is modest and feminine. But what is even more beautiful, is their devotion to Christ. It is their love for Him and for being like Him. My prayer is that I would be like them, and more importantly, that I would be like Christ.



Anonymous said...

Hi Bethany
This is an awesome website. Thanks for having it on your blog. I love the idea of how guys really want us to dress. I have always wondered what Godly guys really thought on some these issues. Thank you so much. I love your blog. Oh and by the way...
It's Joanna Masopust

Bethany said...

Aw thanks. :)