Originally uploaded by BethanyMae
I had an epiphany today. My day with some of my amazing, spectacular friends was ending, and I was staring at the bench two of them were sitting on. And it hit me.

I am a really rude person.

I'm sarcastic, I speak too quickly, I am not gracious or loving the majority of the time, I tease beyond what is kind. I'm sure I'm quite obnoxious many times when I go out in public. Laughing loudly, making a fool of myself, speaking rudely about strangers-- I'm pathetic. And I get annoyed when others do the same thing.

I'm ashamed.

I've been so busy humiliating myself, I haven't realized how great of an embarassment I must be to my friends. I can think of multiple instances today where I surely could have humiliated myself, my friends, and society!

How humbling...


How You Live

Time Capturer
Originally uploaded by BethanyMae
I've been thinking a lot about legacies. What legacy am I leaving? What, who does it point to? When people look back and think about who I was, what will they think of? What legacy am I leaving to those who are younger than me?

I regret so many things I've said and done. I've wasted so much time I could have been using to glorify God. The sarcastic, rude comments were unnessecary. When I was runnign from my fears, I could have been growing. Instead of subconciously forming a clique, I could have been forming new friendships.

I will never gain back the time I lost. I certainly hope the legacy I leave doesn't point to those mistakes. Instead, I hope it points to God. I hope it points to His beautiful grace, His joy, His sovereign plan, the Cross. That is what I want people to think about. I have no time for regrets now. I need to use every moment I have left to glorify Him.

Point of Grace has a new song called "How You Live". The words are so very profound to me. Here is the chorus:

"Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances and let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Looking back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live "

I pray that I will not compromise again. I can't afford it. There is no time to waste. May God be glorified today, tomorrow, and for eternity.




Originally uploaded by BethanyMae
When the morning falls
On the farthest hill
I will sing his name,
I will praise him, still.
When dark trials come
And my heart is filled
With the weight of doubt,
I will praise him, still.

For the Lord, our God,
He is strong to save
From the arms of death,
From the deepest grave,
And he gave us life
In his perfect will,
And by his good grace
I will praise him, still.

Oh, what words! How many times do I refuse to praise Him when trials come? How often do I forget that He is good and worthy of praise?

Even during the hardest times of our lives, God is still a good and gracious God. He is still sovereign. He is still perfect. He is still sovereign. Because of these truths, God still deserves and is worthy of the worship and praise and honor and glory we have to offer.

It's amazing to me whenever I see God's providence in the worship services at church. He seems to place the right songs in the right times. This song came on one of the turning points of my life, although I didn't know what exactly that turning point would turn me to. The words of this song by Fernando Ortega challenges me to praise Him still. Will you?



Originally uploaded by BethanyMae
Does not this photo remind you of something terribly wicked? It does for me.

Yesterday evening I needed to get outside to be abel to think and pray. I decided to bring my camera and I am so glad I did! This may perhaps be one of my favorite shots I've ever taken. Yes, I did some photo manip--just contrast--but I think it makes the real vibrance of the photo come alive.

I once read that when you use photo-manip, it's only to make the veiwer see what you saw. This is what I saw.

I realized today that my 5 year old point & shoot is not an excuse for bad photos. Plenty of people have taken amazing shots with their Canon Powershot A80. Maybe not me, but perhaps someday. I have not learned all I can yet. I can still learn much, much more on this poor camera.

I'm considering taking a photography class in the fall. My only question is: do I want someone dictating what I should take pictures of or how or this technique or that? But perhaps it would be good for me. It would allow me to broaden my horizons and give me new experience. It would also give me the opportunity to get help and use resources I've never had. hm. Somethin to chew on.


Love Thursday

Originally uploaded by LoriBeth Drew
True love waits. This is a phrase well known to my heart. Why? Because I, too, am waiting. I'm waiting for the man I love. I've chosen not to date because I want to be able to give him every part of me-- first spiritually, then emotionally, then physically.

The waiting part is the most difficult. There are days I wonder if I will ever be able to meet the one I've been waiting so long for. But knowing, simply knowing, that perhaps he relaly is out there, waiting for me too, makes it all worth it.

Perhaps it seems radical. I thought so too. Two years ago around this time I first heard of the idea and scoffed. I thought the girls who did such things such as wait to date until they could date The One were crazy, and especially the fact that they were saving their first kiss for their wedding.

God changed my heart and broke it. He showed me that allowing my heart to be broken and bruised by guys who cared nothing about it wasn't worth it.

I still remember the moment I decided to change my ways. I had just finished telling my friend Taylor about the things I went through with this guy. It was early in the morning. And then it hit me-- I could wait. I could wait for the man that God created especially for me. That I didn't need to date around an dhave my heart hurt over and over again. That day, in the wee hours of the morning, I gave my heart back to God to someday give away to the man I will marry.

I look forward to that day more and more with every heartbeat. to think that I will be able to give my whole self to the man God made for me... It's unimaginable. This necklace I wear reminds me about the promise I have made to Christ and to my future husband and to myself. It is an outward symbol of my committment. It's not the necklace that creates the purity-- it's the heart.