New Location!!

You can now see my latest blog postings at Wish I Had Wings or wishihadwings.wordpress.com. You'll be able to read all of the past posts and comments from this blog on WIHW. I'll be closing this blog, and will be starting a new Photography blog/Site at Wordpress shortly. I decided it's best to seperate my business and personal life, so stay tuned for a second link added to this post.
Blogger, it's been fun, but I like Wordpress better, ;)


Mighty to Save

A couple of weeks ago I attended a valley-wide outreach at this same church. And we sang this song. My friend beside me told me as the song began that this was the song they sang at camp. The summer camp I never got to go to. The singing grew louder as the sanctuary passionately drummed out the words so familiar and precious to them. I made it through the first verse, though I could hardly get a word out. Thoughts rapidly rushed my mind. Thoughts of sadness and hurt and loss. The chorus came and I began to tear up. By the third verse I had completely broken down in my best friends' arms. The song seemed to last forever. And as the next song began to play, a song of praise and joy, I was still crying.
Today I was checking out an artist recommended by a close friend. I began to play the songs on the website as I worked on some homework. And then this song came on. I continued with my work, slightly distracted by the words that had pierced my heart.

This year is nearly over. 8 months ago my life changed, only 2 weeks after Winter Camp. I can recall the dates, the smells, the textures, the feelings I felt during those two weeks. But one thing I forgot was that no matter how painful life is, He's going to make it all beautiful in the end. I may not be able to see it now. But all of this is just a little bit of weaving in an incredible tapestry that will glorify Him in the end. And that's all that matters.
There isn't a day I don't think about the past. And many times I'll shed a tear or feel that familiar pain in my heart. I don't understand what He's doing. Not yet, not fully. But I can trust Him to be faithful in His promises-- His promises to wipe away the tears, to renew Hi mercies each morning, to be with me.

I would like to forget it all. He's made it clear that I'm not supposed to forget yet. There's a reason for it. There's a reason for all of it, and I'm thankful for that, no matter what the cost. It's worth it all.


It's Halloween...

It rained for the first time this fall last night. Appropriate, no?
It's Halloween, and I have nothing truly special planned. I'll go with my mom and Olivia for Trick-Or-Treating tonight, and my two best friends are probably coming over. Maybe I'll make a quick trip to Ralph's and Longs to pick up some festive things. My mom has been sick all week and for the first year of my life (Or so I assume... those early years are a little fuzzy.) we don't have Jack-O-Lanterns. Or pumpkins. Or Halloween decor. Barely any fall decor. It's a tad depressing. Oh wait, I'm broke. *Great*. Usually we buy pumpkins at a local ranch/pumpkin patch about a week in advance, carve them a day or so before Halloween, and we never forget to decorate. This week has been messed up.
I went to the doctor last week. I need to stretch my Illiotibial band in my legs-- they run from the hip to the knee. Mine has been tightened, causing me these ridiculous problems. I started physical therapy last week and it's going well-- I love everyone there. It's like one big family, and even the patients/clients get along fantastically. I can already feel improvements.
I went to a valley wide youth group outreach on Wednesday at my old church. It was a wonderful, strange, sad, weird, horrible, amazing night. I'm thankful that God allowed me to go to it-- I thought I wouldn't be able to, but He was so gracious.
Photography wise-- I'll be doing some portraits for a 1 year old and family portraits of him and his family as a gift from one of my good friends. Also, I'm shooting this same friend's nephew's birthday party. I'm really excited-- it's going to turn out great, I'm sure!
I will throw a party when the elections are over. I hear one more comment, see one more commercial... I might scream. And if you know me, you've heard my famous blood curdling scream. It's great. Anyway...
I wonder what kind of Halloween treats you can make with absolutely nothing? Heh. I could make pancakes and buy some canned pumpkin to add in with the single dollar bill that I have that I actually owe to my dad... I'll probably do that. It's girl's night in, I suppose. I have no actual Halloween plans this year. I'm not allowed to trick-or-treat (My mom thinks I'm too old, lol.) and I wasn't invited to any parties or anything. I don't even go to school to get to show off my costume... which I don't actually have. So Halloween is feeling kind of lame.

I have school to do.... Hear the reluctance in my voice? It's wonderful, no? ;)
Happy Halloween. I hope yours is more fabulous than mine.


The leaves are whispering tonight...

I wonder what they're saying. Perhaps they're singing? Or telling secrets?

It's a wonderful sound, to hear the leaves dancing. I was walking home tonight from hanging out with Natasha (shout out to you girlie, much love.) and the sun was setting. It cast a golden glow on the already golden leaves. I listened to Love Story as I read Natasha's letter and walked along the quiet path and once again, I felt something in the wind. Change. This autumn, this winter... things will be different and wonderful. Or at least, that's what I hope I "heard".
For now, I'm going to go to bed listening to the leaves sing me to sleep.

Hello, Fire Season

So I believe fire season has begun. It always seems to center around my area. Gotta love Soutern California. I've become well trained at determining types of smoke-- cigarette, cigar, barbeque, fireplace, wild, and barbeque. I actually like the smell of smoke-- my friends think I'm weird but hey, I don't mind.

No worries though. I don't plan on starting any fires other than the ones in candles.

Did you know I almost set my house on fire once? I had figured out how to burn the edges of a paper so it looked old and stuff and heh, it caught on fire. I was holding it in my hand as I stood over my desk and started freaking out and calling for my mom. I was extremely flustered because I don't think I ever told her when I was calling for her what had happened. The fire got closer to my fingers so I dropped the paper onto my desk. It quickly burned up and because my desk is laminate, not real wood, it didn't catch on fire. Praise God! However, I have a lovely burn sitting here to remind me of how "lucky" I was... and how I shouldn't be trusted with flames. To this day, my mom doesn't feel comfortable with me having candles in my room. I suppose I deserve such a reputation, but it has been two years. :)

I had my US History class today. It went well and I had a suprise presentation thing with my group. I hate public speaking, but we did find thanks to a guy in our group who is kind of an overachiever has had written down everything we needed to say. It worked out well. Actually, I had been in a group presentation with his younger brother only a couple weeks before and he proved himself to have the same kind of work ethic. Their oldest brother is the same way. And yes, they're all in my class. Their mama trained them well. :) So yeah, it was cool.

I made coffee this morning and it didn't taste horrible. Except I never actually finished it. My mom liked Arabica coffee, so that's the only kind we keep around. I myself am more of a Hazelnut kind of girl, but I suppose I'll just have to deal like I always have. :)

I believe I have a total of 1 reader... if that. So I've been trying to post every day this week. It's a good outlet for my thoughts... which, as of late, have been on the shallow side. Sorry. :)

My grandpa is in his last days. It's sad, but we all know it's coming. I've never been to a funeral before, so this will be a new experience for me. It could happen at any time now... At least I know what I'll wear. But I need a black cardigan. Now before you assume anything, I am not looking forward to this. But for me, if I know something bad is going to happen, I plan it out. That's how I deal with it. I'm planning on what I'll bring to my doctor's appointment in 2 weeks, and I'm planning what I wear to his funeral. That's what I do. That's how I deal.
I'm not completely emotionless. I'm sure it'll get to me at some point. I'm not hard hearted. But I have been toughened up this past year quite a bit.
I have a new song obsession: Love Story by Taylor Swift. It's so sweet, romantic, and wonderful. And the music video is awesome. Love her dress. The video was totally inspired by Pride & Prejudice, the one with Kiera Knightley. My favorite version. I know it by heart, and for awhile I watched/listened to part of it every night. So yeah, I know it pretty well. And Mr. Darcy... ah. :) Anyway, the music video is spectacular. Google it when you get the chance. :)

My new favorite name is Juliet. I will totally name my daughter Juliet. And I love the name Eleanor Rose. Shortened to Ellie. My other favorite name. Just don't say it too many times, it starts to sound wierd. :)

I'm off to finish school for the day. Later. :)



So, I despise Spanish. Actually, I just despise learning it. It's a fine language, and kudos to you if you can speak it or do speak it. Honestly. You're totally awesome. Me, however? I'm totally and completely English. Seriously-- one of my anscestors was William Brewster and he was on the Mayflower, you know, that ship that came over from Holland, origionally from England, to see religious freedom? Yeah. I should totally run for president. *wink* Actually, the last thing I'd like to do is be President. If you do, kudos to you. And Mr. President, if you're reading this and-I-don't-know-why-you-would, kudos to you too.
Ah, the elections. I hate politics, though I find it fascinating. I just hate the commercials and the brochures and the lies and all of the crud that comes with it. Kudos to you if you enjoy it. :)
The economy, I hear, is going down hill. I'm not too worried, as it's a cycle. It's constantly changing. But it does stink for those who are hurt by it, so kudos to you for stickin' through it.
Ever had a Kudos bar? They were a favorite when I was a little girl. I don't know if they make them anymore, but they sure were wonderful. Mmmmm. I remember getting them in my lunch when I was in kindergarten and first grade.
I got Sleeping Beauty on Blu-Ray with a DVD version in the mail today! Sleeping Beauty is my all time favorite movie. It's terribly wonderful and romantic. Plus, there are several Biblical principles in the movie: good trumps evil, evil should die and good endure, love conquers all (Ok, well His love does. :D ), we should wait for our princes and Prince, etc... I totally love it. If i just painted my walls pink, pulled out all of my Sleeping Beauty knick knacks, put away all of my random knick knacks, put up my white canopy, and got a pink duvet, I could totally have a Sleeping Beauty themed room. Yep. Truly. :)
I know I haven't posted photos for awhile. That's because other than for yearbook, I haven't taken any good ones. But I might have some brand new ones within the next couple of weeks. I don't know if it'll happen yet, but this would be something I've never ever ever dones before. Something wonderful. Almost as good as a wedding. :) So we'll see. :)